My jokes aren’t working out, but people laugh when my jokes aren’t working out, so my jokes are working out. What a pathetic clown, I am not even a scary clown, I am just a harmless clown, a bug, a cookie, a bag of fine granulated sugar. I am tired of telling not working out jokes, I want to be more important, maybe the president of the United State, a plumber, a writer, a reporter, a twitch just chatting host, a high school physics teacher, a prisoner, just not a clown.Read more
I have a trash can that becomes a fly base in the summer. The shiny metallic color female flies always find a way to lay eggs inside the trash can. In no time the eggs become cute squirming larvas, then pupas, then flies that fly. The stinky smell attracts the flies. Vinegar also attracts flies, because Acetic acid is produced when fruit ferments. I take the trash bag out, squeeze the air out (which stinks), and tie the bag.Read more
Alcohol free means no alcohol. Free alcohol means unlimited alcohol. Drug free means no drug. Free drug means unlimited drug. What does love free mean? What does free love mean?
I mistaken the salt for sugar and put it in my coffee. To my surprise it tasted quite good, so I recommended it to my friends, and they were amazed by the taste of the magical combination too. I quitted my job and opened a cafe selling salted coffee. Sugar is a taboo in my cafe. In a rainy midnight, while I was preparing to close the shop, a girl carrying loads of water drops came inside , and ordered a coffee with sugar and milk.Read more
Space Shuttle Challenger. That’s sad.
I need a doctor. Does a doctor need another doctor? Does a barber need another barber? Does a teacher need another teacher? Does a husband need another husband? Does a president need another president? Does a vacuum cleaner need another vacuum cleaner? I need a banana. I need some water. I need an apple. Apple is an old fruit. When you eat an apple, you also digest the history. In the night, I imagine my ancestors, what’s inside the mind of my grandpa’s grandpa’s grandpa?Read more
Rapture, ecstasy. Jump! Let the blood flow, let the heart beat, let the brain lose its mind. I wanna be dead! Why don’t you kill me… You mean, painfulness is a part of life? I don’t know, man, my friend. I am in love with somebody. She is a robot, an air doll, a computer, artificial intelligence, regression, matrices, linear algebra, apple, salt, tonic water, condom, toilet paper, menstruation or copper.Read more
Beds and coffins are both made of wood, just that coffins have a lid. I am tired of all these bullshit, my dear friend, sometimes I want to kill myself :( But I am not gonna commit it, no worries :) Bed, womb, tomb, comb, coffin, iPhone, they seem to be the same thing to me. I hope I am not insane. I’ve always wanted to be a sane man. I want to be as normal as you.Read more
In case you don’t know it, vodka can be put in the freezer. The melting point of ethanol is -114.14°C. When you pour frozen(I mean from the freezer, not literally frozen) vodka out, the liquid is sticky and together, interesting physics. Drinking pure vodka is a bit boring, it tastes like alcohol and nothing else. D wants to make it more exciting, D bites his finger, and puts the bleeding finger in the glass.Read more
We live in bubbles. I was naive, I am naive, I will be naive. I thought the brutality conducted by Hong Kong police was the result of the infiltration of PLA, I couldn’t believe that the local police would do those horrible things to their own innocent citizens. But that idea was challenged after watching the footages from the Minneapolis, New York, and other places in the US. The police crush the crowd with their huge SUVs, they push the elderly down to the ground, they shoot the reporters, they beat the protesters, they worsen the situation.Read more