Murmur

Bed

Beds and coffins are both made of wood, just that coffins have a lid. I am tired of all these bullshit, my dear friend, sometimes I want to kill myself :( But I am not gonna commit it, no worries :) Bed, womb, tomb, comb, coffin, iPhone, they seem to be the same thing to me. I hope I am not insane. I’ve always wanted to be a sane man. I want to be as normal as you.
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Vodka

In case you don’t know it, vodka can be put in the freezer. The melting point of ethanol is -114.14°C. When you pour frozen(I mean from the freezer, not literally frozen) vodka out, the liquid is sticky and together, interesting physics. Drinking pure vodka is a bit boring, it tastes like alcohol and nothing else. D wants to make it more exciting, D bites his finger, and puts the bleeding finger in the glass.
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Bubble

We live in bubbles. I was naive, I am naive, I will be naive. I thought the brutality conducted by Hong Kong police was the result of the infiltration of PLA, I couldn’t believe that the local police would do those horrible things to their own innocent citizens. But that idea was challenged after watching the footages from the Minneapolis, New York, and other places in the US. The police crush the crowd with their huge SUVs, they push the elderly down to the ground, they shoot the reporters, they beat the protesters, they worsen the situation.
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Hint

Life is full of hints. Your cat has been hanging out lately. You have a window, your cat sneaks out to have some fun with the grass, wind, cola cans, trees, other cats, dogs, humans, supermarket, police station, train station. The weird thing is that when you come back home, your cat is always in the house. You open the door, your cat jumps to you, meows, follows you around, swings around your calfs, showing the ultimate intimacy.
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Dream

Had a dream, I was walking on the street, suddenly noticed that Chen Qiushi was walking in front of me, he was discharged. I walked with him for two minutes. Let’s not be prisoners in this real world.

Mindfulness

Workout, cold shower, secret garden coloring book, calligraphy, taiji, yoga, meditation, baking, cooking, masturbating, writing a blog post, playing video games, having sex, coding, movie theater, knitting, drinking, gardening, doing laundry, doing dishes, cleaning the house, driving around, smoking, putting make up on the face (another form of drawing), playing musical instruments, solving math problems, browsing amazon, etc. We do all kinds of things to try to stay in the present, to stay sane.
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Rebirth

Every time you wake up, you are reborn. Especially when it’s a weird time to wake up, like 2 am, or 10 pm. You feel detached, confused, wondering what is going on around you. You are like a new baby, you are frightened by the environment, you want to cry, but you are too old to cry. You want a protector, but you are alone. The memory gradually fills your consciousness, you are no longer a headless fly.
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R Zero

In epidemiology, the basic reproduction number $R_0$ of an infection can be thought of as the expected number of cases directly generated by one case in a population where all individuals are susceptible to infection. In commonly used infection models, when $R_0 > 1$ the infection will be able to start spreading in a population, but not if $R_0 < 1$. What about politics? The reproduction/spread of an ideology is so similar.
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Wasp

A wasp just came into my room. I was hearing an overwhelming buzz noise, I turned around, found a object flying in my room without any direction. The wasp was huge, I flew (without flying) out the room immediately by instinct. I was able to hear the buzz sound made by the wasp outside the closed door, so I waited and waited, until the sound was gone. Then I opened the door cautiously, the used to be familiar room became a war field, I examined everything with care.
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Onanism

Learnt a word from Russell Brand today, onanism. There are a thousand paths in front of us, which one do we choose? Which one are we currently on? Do we recognize the difference between the dream and reality? If yes, are we trying to minimize the gap? Do we just let the feeling guide us? Is the invisible hand pushing us down the cliff? I don’t think I can go with a permanent path, even in my rather limited life span.
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