新年快乐。 It's a special year, the next time we see the first two digits equal the last two digits is in 2121, in 101 years. I think the world is not gonna be better in 101 years, so happy new year! Mao Zedong died in 1976, Jiang Zemin will die in 2020, Xi Jinping will die in 2033, Donald Trump will die in 2026, Vladmir Putin will die in 2030, Kim Jong-Un will die in 2077.Read more
How many times have you drunk from an empty mug? You lift the mug, find out it's empty, but you drink it anyway. For six seconds, you become an actor wearing a mug mask.
It's a nightmare, let's escape. How do you escape a nightmare? You do crazy things to break the system. You try to hurt yourself, you try to hurt others, you drink phlegm, you scream, you jump, you fly, you fall, you roll, you sink. But the entire system is a simulation composed of imaginations, it's not easy to jump out of your own brain, yet you keep thinking the normal laws apply here.Read more
Rob had a record of sleepwalking since he was seven years old. During sleep, he gets out of bed, goes to the bathroom, looks into the mirror. The light of the bathroom hits his face, reflected, goes to the mirror, reflected, travels through his cornea, hits his retina. His own image, composed by light waves of different intensity and wavelength, gets translated by the cone cells and rod cells to a bunch of electro-chemical impulses, also known as neural signals.Read more
People say “winter is coming” a lot, but no one says “autumn is coming”, because autumn comes without a transition period. Leaves are leaves because leaves leave trees. “Oh, is this a pun, or cum?”
I work for two companies. One company gives me salary, one company gives me something. One company during the day, one company during the night. One company is a real company, one company is a virtual entity. One company sees me as an employee, one company sees me as the only employee. The second company is myself. I am an employee to myself. I employ myself. I am being a master and a slave at the same time.Read more
Let there be light, and there was light. Let there be ass, and there was anus and gas. I am the fart king, I am the cause of global warming. I, the fart king, like elevators. I fart without sound, then I observe people's reactions. Some people pretend nothing happened, some people start cursing, some people frown, some people smile, some people clench their fists, some people look around. What happens occasionally is that while I think I am farting, but I am actually shitting.Read more
Man: “I'm cuming.” Cum: “I'm coming.” Come: “Oh, come on, what a lame joke.”
Jokers make fun of others. Clowns make fun of themselves. So I am a clown.
“Hey god, what is the meaning of life?” “Who do you think I am?” “You are god.” “What makes you think god knows the meaning of life?” “I thought god knows, you know, life, the universe and everything.” “Sorry, god is a fake cause, a brainless machine, Newton's Law, Laplace's demon, $\pi$, $e$, a ruthless dictator, black hole, a toilet, a tampon…” “So god is everything.” “But god doesn't know everything.Read more