## Cum

Man: “I’m cuming.” Cum: “I’m coming.” Come: “Oh, come on, what a lame joke.”

## Joker

Jokers make fun of others. Clowns make fun of themselves. So I am a clown.

## God

“Hey god, what is the meaning of life?” “Who do you think I am?” “You are god.” “What makes you think god knows the meaning of life?” “I thought god knows, you know, life, the universe and everything.” “Sorry, god is a fake cause, a brainless machine, Newton’s Law, Laplace’s demon, $\pi$, $e$, a ruthless dictator, black hole, a toilet, a tampon…” “So god is everything.” “But god doesn’t know everything.

## Overclock

In the silicon-based world, people like overclocking. They use refrigerator, fan, water, liquid nitrogen or whatever to cool the CPU, hence increasing the computing power. In the carbon-based world, people like underclocking. They use alcohol as the main ingredient to slow down the brain. Are we too smart? I don’t think so. We are too shy.

## Barber

If we were to really reduce the carbon footprint of human beings, we need to remove all barbershops and praise being bald. Everyone gets a hair clipper so they can become bald at home. No more energy spent on dyeing, perm or hair drying. The real bald people are happier since they become ordinary people again. Bald billionaires no longer need to waste tons of money seeking a cure for baldness.

## Cancer

Many people think they fear cancer. But when people really get cancer, many of them aren’t as frightened as they thought they would be. Instead, they start to think about questions that haven’t been thinking about, they discover the little treasures in life, they start to develop real relationships, they express their real feelings, they look at the sky and find connections of everything in the universe, they become philosophists.

## Siesta

A siesta is a short nap taken in the early afternoon. Dreams in the afternoon are different than the night ones. They are bright, vivid, colorful yet dry, sad and nostalgic. Dreams in the afternoon also increase the chance of sleep paralysis. Horrible things happen in front of your eyes, yet you can do nothing but watch it. The world is rotating, transforming and collapsing, there is no escape. You get struck by the horror, the memory fades away, then you experience the horror once again.

## Sense

We sense stuff. We see, smell, hear, taste, and touch. Of course we are capable of more than sensing. We sense, we process, we output. Just like how a robot works. What makes a human special is the processing step. But we are gradually losing that ability. Stimuli are bypassing our brain. Stimuli become the output. The processing unit doesn’t work anymore, it short circuits the input to the output.