Man: “I’m cuming.” Cum: “I’m coming.” Come: “Oh, come on, what a lame joke.”
Jokers make fun of others. Clowns make fun of themselves. So I am a clown.
“Hey god, what is the meaning of life?” “Who do you think I am?” “You are god.” “What makes you think god knows the meaning of life?” “I thought god knows, you know, life, the universe and everything.” “Sorry, god is a fake cause, a brainless machine, Newton’s Law, Laplace’s demon, $\pi$, $e$, a ruthless dictator, black hole, a toilet, a tampon…” “So god is everything.” “But god doesn’t know everything.Read more
In the silicon-based world, people like overclocking. They use refrigerator, fan, water, liquid nitrogen or whatever to cool the CPU, hence increasing the computing power. In the carbon-based world, people like underclocking. They use alcohol as the main ingredient to slow down the brain. Are we too smart? I don’t think so. We are too shy.
If we were to really reduce the carbon footprint of human beings, we need to remove all barbershops and praise being bald. Everyone gets a hair clipper so they can become bald at home. No more energy spent on dyeing, perm or hair drying. The real bald people are happier since they become ordinary people again. Bald billionaires no longer need to waste tons of money seeking a cure for baldness.Read more
Many people think they fear cancer. But when people really get cancer, many of them aren’t as frightened as they thought they would be. Instead, they start to think about questions that haven’t been thinking about, they discover the little treasures in life, they start to develop real relationships, they express their real feelings, they look at the sky and find connections of everything in the universe, they become philosophists.Read more
A siesta is a short nap taken in the early afternoon. Dreams in the afternoon are different than the night ones. They are bright, vivid, colorful yet dry, sad and nostalgic. Dreams in the afternoon also increase the chance of sleep paralysis. Horrible things happen in front of your eyes, yet you can do nothing but watch it. The world is rotating, transforming and collapsing, there is no escape. You get struck by the horror, the memory fades away, then you experience the horror once again.Read more
We sense stuff. We see, smell, hear, taste, and touch. Of course we are capable of more than sensing. We sense, we process, we output. Just like how a robot works. What makes a human special is the processing step. But we are gradually losing that ability. Stimuli are bypassing our brain. Stimuli become the output. The processing unit doesn’t work anymore, it short circuits the input to the output.Read more
Determinism, causation, free will, big bang, quantum, uncertainty principle, whatever. If human beings were created by a superior being, let it be god or an alien, yet we are so ugly, contradictory, stupid and narcissistic, I can think of some reasons. The superior being, let’s call it it, was already doing its best. -> It was stupid. It deliberately made us so. -> We are an experiment to it, the earth is (maybe) the largest zoo in the universe.Read more
Not many dungeons exist in the world, because there are not many castles. But criminals are turning their basement into a dungeon, simply because it’s a perfect place for committing crimes. It’s spacious, soundproof and inconspicuous, with a lot of tools handy for a crime. A simple search gives these names Gertrude Baniszewski Josef Fritzl Viktor Mokhov Li Hao Marc Dutroux Wolfgang Přiklopil John Jamelske Alexander Komin The list doesn’t end here.Read more